My Note To You

I came to a conclusion the other night after being knee deep inside a bunch of Rolling Rocks. I can't do this anymore. I'm hurt. I really had to think it through. I have battling interests in my head of what to do. But I gotta do what is best for me. No doubt, I am still very much in love with you. But my attempts are getting me nowhere. I am trying. I'm sorry you don't trust me anymore even though you can. I want you so bad. But I feel like there is no point in me trying. I just fall on my face. I just wanted you to spend the night with me, I was drunk I would hope you understood like the many times I did. That hurt. I love you more than life and I have expressed this to you a million times. I am not just putting words together in order to win you over. I can't chase you anymore. To borrow an expression of yours, this isn't healthy. I don't want nobody else in the world. I know you still love me too or at least have some type of feelings towards me. I am sure of it. I see on Twitter your posts, I miss you too. I don't know any other way to express it to you. But I am done trying. I don't know what else to do. I hate looking like a jackass and thats what I look like by not getting things to work. Whatever you have going on your mind about us, just let it out. I'm sorry, I don't want to be your friend. I will only be your best friend and lover. I won't take you any other way. I have done what I possibly can. The ball is in your court. My door will always be open. The choice is yours, I won't let you down. Yea we talk every now and then, you may think I am mad or something, but no. I just don't know what to do or say. Not saying I am cutting off contact. But I will not reach out to you nearly as much. If you are ready though, so am I.
Love you,
Shane